On Monday Amelia turned one month old... I need to post those pictures... maybe by the end of the week. Yesterday we had a birthday celebration by going shopping and having dinner with friends. My little girl is so, so good and has given us a wonderful month. We got 3 cute new headbands for her bows from our friend Kami's spa (If you are nearby check out Farasha. She has the cutest children's clothes and accessories, one of a kind cuteness at that!) After shopping we came home and got beans, rolls and salad ready to take to our friends Katy and Molly. The men-folk at our houses had Gridiron so Katy and I joined together to make dinner for us girls. Molly and Amelia are a week and a half apart and they are going to be the best of friends, they cry in such sweet harmony! haha The little girls let us have a great dinner then we went for a stroll which was another success. Somewhere around 8 or 8:30 the little girls started breaking down so Amelia and I decided to come on home.
This is where the drama begins!
My child fussed and did not stop. I have called screaming "fussing" in the past, but this was really just fussing. Not hungry, no gas, clean diaper, just fighting sleep and fussing. She'd be wide-eyed and smiling then start to fall asleep and then get SO mad about it and wake herself up. Daddy came in the door at 10 and took over. I look another shift at 11:00, Daddy took her back about 11:45, my turn at 12:30. At 1am I hurt all over, even my toenails and hair hurt, I was so tired. At 1:07 (isn't it funny how you can remember exact times in the middle of the night? Can you do that? I can, it's so weird) we decided to get in the car and go for a drive, it was the only option we hadn't tried. Sweet Daddy offered to go with us, but I left him at home to try and rest before he had to go to work. I was really nervous to drive because I was so sleepy and delirious and so mad and upset at the situation, but it was my only hope. I kissed my fussy little girl and prayed for safety and off we went. We drove all over the streets of our little town and finally she gave it up. I walked through the door and there sat my husband waiting up for his girls. We acknowledged she was asleep, exchanged a look of utter exhaustion and I was off to bed. I laid down on my pillow and cried myself to sleep. I cried because I was tired, I cried because my body hurt and I cried because I felt so guilty for being so mad at this sweet little girl who just wanted to stay up.
I was informed this morning by an incredible friend and Mommy that I did a good job. And that apparently this Mommy guilt, while it is a good thing because it shows you care, will never go away. I am sure there will be many sleepless nights and many tears on that pillow, but it's okay. I wouldn't trade it for anything. The alarm went off this morning at 7:00 and I looked at my husband and said "well, we made it". We had a sleepy smile and started a new day. He made fruit smoothies and I made coffee and it's Wednesday and Tuesday has passed. There is no way I could have done it by myself. Amelia completely kicked our butts but the Comerford team played a good game and gave it our best shot. How can a little over 9 pounds take out 2 grown adults?!
Our house is exhausted this morning. Unfortunately, Daddy had to go to work.
8:46 am and the house is quiet. I have bathed and got myself together. Now I am refueling with my coffee cup
This is how Amelia came in from her car-ride. I would not risk waking her so she is still this way. She is still asleep and I will let her stay that way as long as she feels necessary. I just walk in and make sure she's still breathing. She is, I suppose she is just worn-out from the battle.
Update: At 9:36am the lovebug woke up. She has a clean diaper, is eating breakfast and says "Good morning! Happy Hump-day!" Those beautiful blue eyes make it all worth it.
Just a little dose of honesty from a loving Mommy.