Chronicling The Comerfords

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

True Confessions... I don't do Lent

Well, I have successfully kept my Facebook app off my phone BUT I have absolutely no problem logging onto Facebook's mobile site on my phone.  A very sweet friend honestly told me that defeats the point.  I know!  Thank you for affirming my failure!

I have, however, done a great job at loving on others.  We were left everything inside Grandma and Grandpa's house (that others did not want).  I wanted to have a yard sale but the cowboy thought it was a waste of my (aka HIS) time.  I do not agree but whatever.  By not having a sale I was able to reach out to two young families that really needed some items and would not have been able to purchase them. I received a sweet, sweet note from two little girls thanking me for their new bed and their pretty sheets.  While my material minded person would have loved the money, it does my heart good to know others are comfy in their homes.   It's hard being a human.  We are constantly thinking of ways to "better" ourselves.  Usually "better" in our eyes means a financial gain.  What better thing is there to better than your heart?  I think you only do this by nurturing it. I am still a little bitter thinking of money I could have in my pocket to buy paint or go on a weekend trip, but somewhere in a sweet little corner I am proud of myself.  This home is a huge blessing to us and we are thankful we can be a blessing to others.

Speaking of a weekend trip...  I am leaving with 6 other girls tomorrow night for Amelia Island.  We will be there Thursday-Sunday.  That is a little over 3 days where I do not have to be touched by anyone or do anything for anyone but me!  Kids and husbands are wonderful, but a mother has very little time to herself.  SO exciting!  FYI, I will totally blow giving up Facebook mobile this weekend!  Like I haven't already!

While we are speaking of things religious.  I got completely tickled during communion Sunday.  I try to be really serious during communion.  I love the idea of asking God to completely cleanse our bodies then to refill it with the body and blood of Christ.  I'm not sure how you do communion, but we all go up a few pews at a time to the alter.  We bow and are served little glasses of juice and cubes of bread.  It takes a long time to serve our church.  It's just really hard to keep your mind focused for that long.  Especially when it is lunchtime and you have been given one mouse-sized piece of bread and a sip of juice.  That was not my problem this Sunday.  I mean it was, but I had a bigger issue.  The Cowboy was ushering so it was just me in my little world and maybe I was thinking about my weekend away or who knows what.  As I stood there waiting for my turn I analyzed the people in front of me.  Do they chew their bread then drink?  Do they do it all together?  As I knelt down and started to pray all I could think of was "taking this communion looks a lot like taking a shot! That's terrible Nicole!  Shut your mouth!"  And then worst of all I giggled and I couldn't stop.  My bad!

I just took it as a sign that I'm really truly going crazy and need a break.  Amelia Island here I come!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Amelia the Brunette

We had a very productive day around our temporary digs and some really good naps.  Since I did 4 loads of laundry I decided to reward myself with a trip to Home Depot.  I wanted to get some paint samples and look at sink fixtures.  Also the carpet place called and said my rug had been surged and was ready for pick up.
I picked up my rug and headed with the girls to Home Depot.  I did not realize they do not sell Benjamin Moore but they were able to mix my Wood Grain Brown into to Behr paint.  When we got to the house Amelia decided she wanted to help me paint.  What harm could that be, right?! Weeeellllll..... you obviously do not know me that well if you think that is a true statement.  I am one of the clumsiest people I know.  While instructing Amelia on how to properly hold the roller in her hand so that the paint goes on even, I had the paint in my other hand.  Turns out my whole body turned with my hand and my right hand that was holding the paint tipped and chocolate brown paint went straight onto Amelia's head!  WHOOPSIE!

This picture just does not do it justice.  It's all in her bangs and down the side of her head.  All the drip spots are coming out of her hair!  Thank goodness it came off the floor!  A sad little voice said "Mommy, I don't like my hair. Please get it off"  "Ok Amelia, let me just capture the moment first."
I immediately (ok, well not immediately, because I obviously grabbed a camera immediately) took her into the bathroom and put her in the shower.  I knew I kept that shampoo in there for a reason!  After she was fully undressed I remembered we have the hot water turned off. Oh no! I grabbed Amelia and the shampoo and we headed for the kitchen sink for a good hair washing.
We laughed and laughed and laughed! 

Silly Mommy!

I turned the heat on full blast and carried my paint sprinkled baby home for a full bath. 
And this is, my friends, is the reason Comerford's hire painters!
When Daddy got home he said "Did y'all get into anything interesting today?"
Amelia said "Mommy painted my hair!" haha

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Paint Colors...

I need some suggestions on paint! The more I read, the more I stress!  I want to paint the kitchen gray.  It seems to be the trend but I do think it is a beautiful color.  I'm thinking along the lines of Benjamin Moore Chelsea Gray or Benjamin Moore Winterwood or Silver Sage by Restoration Hardware which is supposedly very similar to Sherwin Williams Gray Wisp. 

From our kitchen there is a swinging door into the dining room.  The dining room flows into the living room only separated by an arch opening.  I really want to paint the living room a chocolate brown maybe a Benjamin Moore Wood Grain Brown.  It is a huge room with tall ceilings and a lot of windows and white trim.  BUT what do I do with the dining room in the middle.  I was reading tonight about making a house flow and not using too many different colors.  HELP!   Seriously.  What are some of your colors?

And at the end of the day our home is beautiful.  Paint is only part of the puzzle, with views like this out our backdoor, how can you go wrong?

Seriously though, I need to paint the inside of my house....

Friday, February 22, 2013

Happy Friday!

Some mornings just all come together.  Those mornings are few and FAR between in this house.  This morning was one of those mornings though.  What a great way to end the week!

Slowly But Surely... It is Ours!

Finally!  The farmhouse is cleaned out!  Thank goodness!  It was a lot of work, but now that everything is out I can actually imagine it as mine!  We still need to do a few minor changes and paint, but I guarantee none of it will be harder than cleaning everything out.  I suppose when you are married for 63 years, you accumulate A LOT.  I hope I find out!

Part of me wants to go buy paint and brushes right now or start moving stuff that I'm not using, but I need a break. And I still have a thousand ideas that I need to narrow down.  I did snap some pictures of my clean slate last night after Junior Service League picked up the last of the items

This is my kitchen.  There is a bay window to your left.  The sink, dishwasher, refrigerator and pantry is to the right or beside me taking the picture.  I have a gray color picked out for the kitchen.  I think it is going to be the color. A big part of me wants to do robin egg blue, but I think it is so overdone.  What do you think?  If you could paint your kitchen any color, what would it be?

This is the HUGE living room.  I'm actually standing in the dining room taking the picture.  There is an archway that separate the two rooms. I think the arch is a little odd but I've gotten tons of compliments on it.  Maybe it adds personality or maybe they are being nice...
I'm thinking of painting the living room a dark brown.  Almost chocolate.  I've read on decorating sites that dark, rich colors shrink and warm up rooms.  I need both. Thoughts??

And Molly Brown is SO glad to have us back at the house.  I found her in the car when I got out last night.  She is now a fat cat so I think farm life suits her.  She just misses us.

I still can't believe that I'm not going to be living in town and further more that I am going to be living at the farm, but I also can't believe how excited I am!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

My 401k Plan is Cuter Than Yours

I never hide the fact that I do not exactly love the cows as much as the Cowboy does. I love that he loves them and it is a great stress relief for him. I also love that since I am not able to contribute to a savings plan that these cows are a growing asset. We joke that they are our 401k plan. Truthfully they do have a better gain right now!
While I am not interested in being a cow girl, I do LOVE spending the afternoon riding 4 wheelers. I do miss our girls but its amazing the things you can get accomplished and the spontaneous fun you can have while the kids are away. "Hey Babe, lets go to the farm and ride 4 wheelers." "Ok!" What a fun afternoon!

Mommy Juice

You know what?! This while parenting gig is tough! We have made the decision (and by "made the decision" I mean we've had lots o convo) to drink in front if our children. And by drink I mean, wine at or after dinner or a few beers around the house. The idea is that they will see grown ups enjoying a drink and will see that in moderation is it great. Like a cookie or any other treat. Thinking they will always see it and it won't be a big deal when they are confronted with it.

The flip side is that they will see it so often then if they are ever offered they will accept like it is no big deal. That's not good at all!

We have stressed that we have Mama and Daddy drinks. So much so that when we have rolled passed the beer section in Publix Amelia will loudly and proudly say "Look! It's Daddy's drink!"

On New Years Eve I let Amelia toast some apple juice with us in a champagne flute at 830. Ever since she has wanted to "cheers!" whatever she is drinking. Recently she has wanted juice out of a "Mama glass" aka wine glass. More recently she has taken the beverage in the wine glass and has said she is pretending it is Mama Juice. Sooooo.... Now my 3 year old is pretending like she is drinking. I think this is B-A-D! Am I being dramatic?! Mama juice is for mamas. You can drink your apple juice out if whatever you want but it is still apple juice. Thoughts????? How do we handle this??

These little people watch everything and want to be just like you. That is a lot to love up to!

Saturday, February 16, 2013

First Calf of the Year!

While I was cleaning out the farm house the Cowboy was doing what cowboys do on Saturdays. I honestly have no idea what that is but he leaves every Saturday and comes back really smelly.
While he was at the farm a Mama cow gave birth. It's our first calf of the year! I don't get excited about many things regarding cows but I do love the babies! It sure is a cold day to come into the world.
I don't know why we don't calf later in the year when it warms up. Maybe I will investigate...
And an update on the house, I made serious progress! I've also found some really fun treasures like this hat and some Randy Travis tapes. I will have to share all my finds.


It's 10:04 am and I just decided to remove used from the bed. The girls are at Grandma and PawPaws for the weekend. Like Saturday to Monday! Whoo hoo!
The man who loves me the most made breakfast and coffee and brought it to me in bed. Life is a lot less stressful when you have a weekend off every now and then!
I must get myself together to go clean out the farm house. Did I mention we are moving back? We will be in the house by April 1st. There is A LOT to do between now and then. I'm not going to say that farm living is the life for me but I am excited to be back. Amelia and Ben LOVE it out there and I fell in love with a sweet little white farmhouse. Amelia asks everyday when we are moving and wants to paint her room like a rainbow. Anyone want to come paint a rainbow mural?
Here's to a productive Saturday!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day!!  Valentines is overshadowed around birthday month here so it is really not a big deal.  In fact a strand of texts went something like this...

Me: Will you pick up a half gallon of milk and a small thing of diapers for me for Valentines?
Cowboy: I can swing that. I want a steak
Me:  How about refrigerated blood samples (we preg checked cows today.  By we I mean a guy came out to preg check them and met me with the samples and I brought them home) and some pork chops.
Cowboy:  Good trade.

So that is where we are.  One thing that I do make a big deal about it making Valentines but this year Amelia blew all of my Pinterest dreams and refused to make them.  She wanted Princess Valentines with Hello Kitty stickers.  When we got to Walmart at 8:30 in her pjs the night before her party she was in awe of the selection

Big decisions!

My goodness she is cute!

Princess Valentines with Hello Kitty stickers lost out to the Veggietales this year.

Daddy went to school with her for Donuts with Dad.  FYI guys... as long as your child is looking at you like this, you are doing a great job.  She loves her Daddy and I love him for it.

She really is the cutest 3 year old in the wide world

Happy, Happy Valentines Day!

It's blurry but cute
So we do not get excited about expensive roses or balloons or other Valentines shenanigans, but we do have a lot of love!  And we have some Samoas, Thin Mints and wine.  Sounds perfect to me! 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Lent... Give up or Add on

I never really follow through with Lent.  It's kind of like a New Years Resolution for me.  Terrible I know, but it is what it is.  Part of that may be that the Methodist Church doesn't really focus a lot on it. Or mine has not.
This year I have given up my Facebook app. Not Facebook entirely because that is crazy talk but I did delete the app on my iPhone.  Since I did actually remove something that will need to be reinstalled to use, maybe I will stick it out.
I love Facebook, but on a regular basis it makes me really mad and I do believe it has turned me into a full on hypochondriac and a super obnoxious nervous mama.  I also use Facebook to escape my children when maybe I should deal with the situation.  Sooooo... we shall see if deleting the app so that I can only log on from my computer will change my world.  As coo-coo as it may sound, I do feel like I was called to do this.  Not sure that Jesus cares that much about Facebook but He definitely cares about my quality of life and my family.  I will keep you updated on the process and withdrawals I experience.
I have also had friends who rather than give something up, they add something on.  The Cowboy and I had a long talk at dinner about things the Bible focuses on.  How much does it mention say, Gay relationships or not eating pork or not drinking and dancing THEN how much does it mention loving others?  We were talking about how you should have your main focus in line with the most prominent principle in the Bible.  So, during this Lenten season I am also focusing on loving others.  How can I better serve people around me on a daily basis with small acts of kindness?  Really it is terrible that this does not happen naturally every day but it just does not.

Maybe it will last???  I hope it lasts much longer than the season of Lent! 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

How'd You Get Those Beads Mister?!

Pawpaw was in New Orleans helping a friend remodel a house. So happens a that said remodel was going on during Marti Gras and Super Bowl festivities. Imagine that?!
Pawpaw brought home a WHOLE BUNCH of beads for the girls and some BIG ones! I hope he didn't have to show his boobies too many times to get all these beads!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I Do Not Judge... Yes I Do! Even with Postpartum Blues

We all like to think that we are not judging people.  News Flash.... We are!  All of us!  I was 6ish months pregnant in a suite at an arena seeing my most favorite group, Sugarland. I was not huge, but adorably pregnant in a form fitting dress and boots, feeling mighty cute I may add.  I have seen this group a few times since they were new on the scene and they have always had a pretty large gay and lesbian following.  I do not care at all.  I have some amazing friends that are gay and I love them.  I have actually found myself being an advocate of the community recently.  All this to say that in our small reserved suite, I was getting the evil eye from a group of lesbians as me and my precious 6ish month belly enjoyed one really cold Miller Lite.  My first response (only in my mind thankfully) was "Who are you?  I don't judge you for your lifestyle!"  Then I thought, well obviously I am if that is the first thing on my brain.  Then I immediately felt terrible, but that is how the brain works.

I have spent the last year dealing with what I honestly think is/was postpartum depression.  I do think I am over the hump but I would give anything to go back to the 6 week check up when my doctor thought I was "on the verge, but not really needing medication" and medicate myself. 

It has been a rough year in our world, Ben traveled a lot, I lived with 80 something year olds, I we moved, Ben lost his job, Ben found another job, I have a 3 year old and a baby and I work part time. I got myself in a pretty deep hole.  Deep enough that I would scream and cry and say things like "I just do not like my life.  I don't know what I don't like about it.  I don't like who I am in it." When I would make plans with friends, I typically would not follow through.  Eventually I got to the point where I just wouldn't make them. I thought a thousand times about quitting my job because it takes so much out of me in the mornings just to put on concealer and clothes that do not fit to go to work for 4 hours.  It's REALLY hard to get dressed when you have a crawler crying and pulling on your pant leg begging for your to pick her up and a sister who wants chocolate milk, cereal, the tv on, "Annie pulled out my hairbow" etc.  I would try to keep up with the agencies in the community I like to help but ended up doing craptastic jobs at all of them because I just did not have the energy.

Everyone under the blue sun has told me to exercise, change my diet, ask your husband for help, blah blah blah... I would love to change my diet but I end up eating in the car because that is the only time I can sit down in a seat and eat without having to share my food or get up in the middle of it to do something for somebody.  And eating in the car typically means fast food.  I HATE exercising and have written off that pushing a swing or carrying a 25lb baby around on my hip is good enough. And after months of being a total bitch, bitch turned into an emotional crybaby and husband got the picture.  He has always helped some but not consistently and not enough but there are very few guys that do.  Especially when he commutes almost 30 mins each way, works a full day and is trying to maintain around 100 head of cattle.

About 2 weeks ago (the week of Annie's first birthday) it hit that fan, all of it! I had a whole party planned in my head that I had not done a thing for.  I had 15 invitations on the counter that didn't go out, I bought doilies to glue 12 pictures on that were to hang and look like snow flakes.  I had recipes, punch and party favors pinned on a special Pinterest board. Finally at 5:30 on Friday, the night before the 10:30 am party, I went to the grocery store to buy necessities to have  a few people over.  The party ended up fine as you saw, but it was not all that I wanted for our little Annie and my attitude behind it was terrible.

All of this was because we had one really, really, really bad week.  Annie has a lot of personality but she is one really hard baby.  I try SO hard not to compare, but it's hard not to. You only know what you have experience with.  Amelia was just so easy going.  She had a witching "hour" from about 5 or 5:30 to 7.  And she hated going to sleep so she screamed for about 45 mins in her bed every night.  This was hard but at least it was consistent and at the end of the day.  Annie whines in the morning almost the whole time I am getting dressed.  She is pretty good until about 2:30 and then she pretty much stinks for the rest of the afternoon.  There are many days where she makes it very hard to like her, or cook dinner, or clean the house, or eat, or tolerate her sister's 3 year old nonsense. It was a week of a lot of screaming and crying.  Telling Ben I just could not stand her and I meant it and then feeling so guilty for saying it out loud.  I didn't want to throw her a birthday party because I thought she was so awful and she didn't deserve one.  She took up so much of my energy that I did not want to do anything in excess for her.  I know that sounds terrible as I re-hash it here, but it was how I felt.  And I know that I am not alone in this.  I also know that it is ok to feel like this.  Anyone who you share a roof with is going to get on your nerves.  You add on being their primary care giver and the fact that they scream at you, shit on you, spill things on you and are basically ungrateful every single day, it will wear on a person.

In the midst of all this drama I sat in my bathtub and googled home remedies to help with postpartum.  The humor in what I found was almost enough to cure me instantly.  There were about 15 articles on eating your own placenta.  You can freeze it into little pieces and eat a little everyday.  Or freeze dry it out, crumble it up and put it into capsules to take everyday.  Gross!  My first thought?  "Do these people also eat their boogers and call them flu shots?!" And while I actually made myself laugh out loud, that is still judging.  I mean, in the position I have been in this past year, I would have almost eaten my placenta. It sure as hell wouldn't have made me any worse.  Also, the Cowboy reminded me that we are about the only ones that do not eat their placenta and once again compared me to a cow.  It sure is a good thing that I am pretty teeny tiny or I would have a serious complex.

It just amazes be how quick we are to judge others.  I will tell you that this year I have looked at a lot of people a little differently.  I know I have given more people the benefit of the doubt.  I have exhibited so many character traits that are not me.  From leaving my house a mess, to not following through on commitments, to being a total jerk to my husband and kids.  You just never know what struggles people are going through.  I have worn a smile and tried to act fine and carry on because you don't want to seem weak.  Or you look at another and think they have a worse problem than you but are handling it with much more grace.  It made me look at others and wonder if maybe they are struggling as well.

Not looking for a pitty party but just know that if I have pissed you off this year I am sorry.  It was a rough year and I was doing all I could some days to hang on.  I'm not sure what happened at 1 year but I swear we turned a corner.  Annie is still fussy, but manageable and better.  Amelia is still 3 and craptastic a lot, but with Annie stressing me less I can handle 3 year old drama.  And with the drama comes a pretty fantastic little girl.  The Man of the House has started pulling his share of the weight and that has helped a ton.  I've also been mindful to get outside and breathe some fresh air whenever possible.

I have tried for a month to write this and just never got around to it.  I probably still did not do my year justice.  I went back and forth between "just let it go and don't mention it" and "be painfully honest because that's what really happened and you never know who it will touch".  I think I met somewhere in the middle but closer to painfully honest.  Not that I ever got close to driving my car off a ledge or anything, but I can definitely see how someone (especially a Mom of young children.  especially a Mom who needs order and everything in its place at all times. especially a Mom who needs substantial sleep to function) could make a terrible decision in a split second.

I am thankful that I have turned a corner and have felt dramatically better over the past 2 weeks.  But I am upset I carried this weight around for this long.  I would definitely take medication over a placenta any day, I just wish I would have done it 11 months ago.  Some people may still think I need medication now, but they have probably long since felt that way! haha

I type this entry a few hours before I turn 34.  I proclaim that I will not carry this burden with me to another year!  There are some great things in store for my 34th year. I can't wait to live it.  The good days and the bad.  They all make up this life of mine that I do truly love.

Yea, I made that!

Tada! They are still in progress but in the last 3.5 hours I turned fabric into something that resembles pants! I had A LOT of help, but I sewed every single stitch myself. They still need elastic and ruffles at the bottom but I am pretty darn proud of my accomplishment!
Why not send my 33rd year out with a bang?!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Happy Birthday Girls

What a fun time of the year this is!  Some people get really excited about Valentines Day but in our world that is just another day on the books.  Why?  Because we are on a birthday high!  I have NO IDEA how people think their birthday is just another day.  It is YOUR special day!  It is the day that you came into this world. Each year we overcome so many trials and this day marks another year that you made it through.  It is an amazing day to celebrate all that is you!

My Mama's birthday is February 1st and mine is the 4th.  Last night we went to a big girls dinner of Pinot Grigio and Chicken Tortellini.  We NEVER go out by ourselves and it was so great.  Hopefully we will remember to make time to do that in the future.

There are no words for how much I love this woman!  She brought me into this world and so far has decided not to take me out.  I'm sure there were years of indecisiveness about the last part :)

Annie Walks!

This activity has been going on in my house the last 6 days!  She is still more efficient crawling therefore that is her primary mode of travel.  She sure is cute when she wobbles around though!  Amelia gets SO excited for her :)   Go Annie Go!