I sat in my living room floor this morning with tears in my eyes and slowly running down my face. I stood in the kitchen this afternoon crying over dinner. I am tired or frustrated or aggravated or sad or mad... who knows! I have decided my Mommy Juice is depleted. I have heard in marriage studies about love tanks and you must continue to fill one another's because if you don't want to run on empty. The Mommy tank needs a refill.
It's been a fussy period lately thanks to the dreaded teeth. Why can't we all just get fitted for dentures at birth and be done with it. We are currently working on #12 at 11 months old. Friday afternoon I met Nana for lunch and Amelia woke up from her nap with a fever of 102. No huge deal, teething has caused fevers so we started the ibuprofen/Tylenol cycle.
Saturday morning she was so fussy and completely out of it. I took her temperature and it began to climb. Once it hit 104 and was still rising we loaded up to go to the Children's Clinic. Our normal pediatrician was not on call but we had a great stand in. Test after test everything came back inconclusive. They put her on an antibiotic thinking she is obviously fighting something. (We felt that way too.) The antibiotic caused a horrible stomach and about 5 or 6 dirty diapers a day which lead to an awful case of diaper rash. If she tee-tees it hurts, if she sits down it hurts, if you pick her up it hurts.
We were sitting in an oatmeal bath on Monday when the doctors office called to say her tests were negative. While I am glad there is nothing wrong, I immediately became upset because now we have diaper rash from a medicine we didn't need.
To top it off she got an allergic reaction to the bath stuff I used. So now we have a rash from the oatmeal bath, which was to cure the diaper rash from the dirty diapers which was caused by the antibiotics we didn't even need! AGH!! We do believe something was going on with her little body and the doctor did what he thought was best to treat her. We stand behind that but I hate that it all turned into this. You can tell she itches, but doesn't quite know what to do about it. She whines and fusses most all of the day.
Note: I was told that generations back women would put Mylanta and corn starch (mix into a paste) on babies bottoms for diaper rash. We tried it and it works! It's not completely gone but it is much better.
My house is a wreck and it is always clean. I always feel like if I can look around and see a clean house at least something is in order. I look around it's a little overwhelming. Far from order. It's just hard to get things done when you have a crying baby pulling at your skirt wanting you to pick her up. We need Mary Poppins to show up with her umbrella.
It's also my Grandma's birthday. You know, you would think you get used to people being gone, but it seems like I miss her more now than I ever have. I just wish she was here to help me love on this precious girl.
I don't know why I'm so emotional about it all today. Some days life just seems harder than others. Ben came home from work for a minute to look me in the face and tell me I am a good mom and wife and it's going to be ok. --One of the perks of having an office right around the corner-- He held Amelia for a bit and told her it's going to be ok. I wiped my face from the kitchen melt down, finished supper and we were fine.
We were off to church by 5:30 for Vacation Bible School. Amelia was happy to visit her friends in the nursery. I really think she thinks those ladies know what they are doing and her Mama is a nut. As I was teaching a great group of elementary school aged children for 2 hours I realized all this drama at home is nothing! I better put my big girl panties on because the we are just getting started.
I had this post saved from yesterday and finished it today. Even as I'm reading now, in a much better mood, it does seem a little dramatic. Possibly so, but yesterday was a very dramatic day. Hip hip hooray for hump day!