I never published the below blog. I have had somewhat of a blogger's block thinking about it. It has now been about 2 weeks since someone made the most recent comment to me that upset me. The emotions have simmered so I thought about deleting and moving on, but I have decided against it. This is a journal of my life and this is a part of it. There have been multiple occasions where I have been upset or aggravated by people making snide comments about my weight so here is my take on the subject...
I have been frustrated about this topic for about a year now but have not said anything at the risk of offending people. But, if you are reading this you are obviously interested in my opinion (or just nosey) so here it goes...
Let's talk facts for a moment. All of my life I have been between a size 2 and 6. If I am honest the 2's were stand up only jeans, but they did button so there! Since I have been married I have been between a 6 and an 8. Before I got pregnant the 8's were not comfortable at all. After giving birth I lost everything I had and then some. Currently I wear a size 2 and there is some after lunch breathing room in them.
I do not like to exercise. I do not even like speaking the word. I do love to push our daughter around town in her stroller and probably walk 5 or more miles twice a week when the weather is nice. When the weather is not nice I am chasing and wrangling a 15 month old all over our house. So I guess by default I do exercise. I should also mention that I breastfed my baby until she was 8 1/2 months old. I have heard that helps drop the weight in a hurry, but I really don't know.
All of this is to say that I have no idea why in the world I am as small as I am right now. I have no idea how it happened. I am grateful it did, but I can not take credit for it at all. I can also understand that it could be frustrating to some people who do exercise or diet or do whatever it takes to lose weight or keep a great figure.
I feel like I have apologized or made up excuses for my weight for a year now. And a year later I will tell you, I'm a little tired of the comments. I don't mind the people who I have not seen in some time telling me how great I look. Who doesn't like to hear that?! What I do mind are the backhanded compliments with resentment in your voice or people mentioning that other people are talking about my weight or the real sweet people that tell me I need to eat.
I do not feel like I look unhealthy, just thinner. If someone genuinely thought I was sick or had an eating disorder I would not mind them kindly asking me about it. I would be more than happy to invite them to buy me lunch and let me prove them wrong. I see nothing wrong with confronting someone you love when you think they have a problem. I also see nothing wrong with giving someone a heartfelt compliment. But everything else needs to go. I would never go up to someone at a party and say "Girl, if I you I would stay away from those calories in the sausage balls!" So why is it okay for someone to tell a skinny person that they should eat 2 or 3 of the donuts that were brought in? Someone may be rolling their eyes at this moment thinking the difference is obvious, but it's not as clear as you think. The fact of the matter is that being hateful, is being hateful regardless. And for those of you who think you are being funny, you are not.
I'm not sure why skinny is so much more accepted than a little over-weight in our society. I was just talking to a dear friend the other day who is training for a 5k. (I am very, very proud of her by the way!) It is a fact that at this time her pant size is larger than mine, but I would bet anything she is in better shape than I am. Your outward appearance has little to do with your inner health, so why does the world put such an emphasis on it? I will also mention that my friend is beautiful. Way more beautiful than a number of size 2 models and celebrities I've seen.
I know about the Marie Claire article that was written recently and I think it is horrible. Who in their right mind would say such terrible things? I think it is hateful, awful things like this that continue to draw the line in the sand between big and small. But here is the thing in my situation anyway, when you make enough comments that it makes someone ashamed of the way they look then it is time to stop. Yes, I am skinny and no I did not do anything worth while to get this way and guess what? I am still proud of the way I look and am grateful I can wear skinny jeans and there is nothing wrong with me feeling this way.
Perhaps this is just me on a soapbox, but it is an honest feeling in my heart. Just remember that none of us like to talk about our weight regardless of what the scale says. And why should we anyway? It's not a sign of who we are as a person.. except I could see that it could be the sign of a terrible cook. Maybe I would weigh a little more if I were better in the kitchen :)