As I mentioned, we are on a job hunt. Most days we are very excited about the opportunities. It is exciting to think about where God will use you next. Will we be in the same town? Will we be in the same state? What will we think if we have to move? Ben has by far been more faithful than I have during this little test in our lives. He carries on like a job is in the future and I walk around like a worry wart. I have him praying for me, so it is all fine! :) He has gotten closer to God and I have beat my head against the wall. I am slowly coming around and really there have been way more good days than bad days. He was pretty unhappy in his current situation (great people involved but not so great of a job for Ben) and now he has that light back in his face. There is no doubt that he is in a better place.
Searching for a job is a roller coaster of highs and lows. Sometimes you think you have it figured out (and get excited even though you try not to) and in a split second it slips away. It is on those days that it is hard to remember that our Master and Creator still has a plan for us.
I emailed a friend very, very frustrated with myself. Feeling like I have completely failed this faith test. I have been frustrated and bitter and a whole host of other emotions. Just when I think I've got it together and am feeling good about something we get bad news and I'm back to square one. To add to the frustration, I walk around the house with a man who is closer to God than he has been in a while. That alone will drive you nutty. I've always wanted a strong Christian man to lead our house, well, that I have! It's funny how trials can pull one person one way and another in the other way. I am SO thankful that Jesus provided me with a sweet, wonderful, encouraging husband. And when I roll my eyes and refuse to listen to Ben, Jesus speaks through my always loyal and loving girlfriends. Husbands are great, but I really have no idea what I would do without my girlfriends.
I hope my friend does not mind me sharing her email response because every single one of you need to hear it. Life is rocky and sometimes we feel a little lost or disappointed in ourselves but you can not fail God. Jesus is alive and living today through the people who love us.
You have not failed anything and certainly not at your Faith. I know I might not have all the details, but I can say with certainty, that is a lie the enemy is telling you. You can’t fail God, because God doesn’t expect us to win or even succeed without Him. You might see actions or thoughts as failure, but God sees them as a learning opportunities, and opportunities to show you His Grace, Mercy and unending Love. You can’t fail God. His plan for you cannot be thwarted by anything you do, think or feel. God already won it all for you, there is no failing in Christ!! You are having growing pains and that is ok, good even!! Someday, you will be able to impart wisdom and Grace on another person at some time in your life. It is okay to feel scared, God can handle your fear. It is okay to ask questions, God isn’t afraid of them. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself sometimes, God will use that to expose your wounds that need healing through Him.
I LOVE YOU!!!!! I ADORE YOU!!!!! I ADMIRE YOU!!!!!
You are a Princess Warrior. You are the Bride of Christ. God delights in YOU!!! Believe it and OWN IT!!!
My prayer is that every one of you has a friend that who loves you and speaks the words of Jesus to you. I also pray that you are that person to your friends. I pray that I am that person to my friends.
As I type this "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing" by David Nevue is playing. It is a wonderful instrumental version. Check it out. Hopefully this blog will be a blessing to you. And hopefully and selfishly, the Lord will show us our next blessing and step sooner than later.